4TH WEEK

The following days after the funeral, I slept in the living room. Part of me still believe that u are alive, and u'll sneak in through the front door in the late of night and laugh,telling me that all of this is but just a prank, an April's Fool prank. But it's not. It's not April, and u're not the kind of person that have such a sick sense of humour,and U'll never show up again. The pain is too real,and tears keep welling up my eyes. It's November, a month before Christmas, two month before the CNY,and the most important, it's a week before our birthday.U never left me when I need u,u never break your promise,but this is the first time u can't keep your promise,the frst time u didnt pick up the phone when i call u, and the first time u left me without saying goodbye,forever.I really miss u, I NEED U TO BE A PART OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I LOVE U.I never tell u this before, but i really meant it. I never want you to go away.I

Day 15th

It's the 15th day since u have left. As time passed, I become more and more convinced that u are really gone. It hurt to learn that I could never see u again. I need u more than i thought i did. I have been stop cring for 2 days, I thought everything would be fine soon. But it's not. I was just pretending that nothing happen. It's hard, to pretend that everything is normal, to pretend that u are still alive. My tears streaking down my face profusely, my heart is aching, i reach the phone, tried to call u, but then i realise it is impossible to reach u. Not anymore. What will u do if u are me? Will u cry and grieving like I do?  U are always sronger than me, u must can handle it. It's has been a long time I keep thinking that wouldnt it be good if I'm the one lying in the coffin? Then our parents won't be so sad and hurt, everyone will not in such a great pain. I can't handle this. This feeling is too strong,and too hard to fight back. It's killing me. Where are u now? I hope u can still stay with me, no matter in what form. I wish i could see u again. There are a lot of things I haven't told u, a lot of question I haven't ask u, a lot of things i haven't done for u. I miss u. Everyone keep telling me to be strong. But how could I be strong without u? I love u.And i never want u to go away. Not without saying goodbye.