Day 15th

It's the 15th day since u have left. As time passed, I become more and more convinced that u are really gone. It hurt to learn that I could never see u again. I need u more than i thought i did. I have been stop cring for 2 days, I thought everything would be fine soon. But it's not. I was just pretending that nothing happen. It's hard, to pretend that everything is normal, to pretend that u are still alive. My tears streaking down my face profusely, my heart is aching, i reach the phone, tried to call u, but then i realise it is impossible to reach u. Not anymore. What will u do if u are me? Will u cry and grieving like I do?  U are always sronger than me, u must can handle it. It's has been a long time I keep thinking that wouldnt it be good if I'm the one lying in the coffin? Then our parents won't be so sad and hurt, everyone will not in such a great pain. I can't handle this. This feeling is too strong,and too hard to fight back. It's killing me. Where are u now? I hope u can still stay with me, no matter in what form. I wish i could see u again. There are a lot of things I haven't told u, a lot of question I haven't ask u, a lot of things i haven't done for u. I miss u. Everyone keep telling me to be strong. But how could I be strong without u? I love u.And i never want u to go away. Not without saying goodbye.