IT JUST CAN'T STOP RAINING!!!

When I was a child, I love the rain. I love to heard the sound of rain that is so soothing and natural, sniff at the fresh and clean air after rain, watching the rain splashing down on the street as if the crystal of clear and pure falling down onto the earth , it seem to me as if it is a gift from the God.
But now,not anymore, I hate to be alone in the rain. The grumbling sound of thunder and bolts of lightning keep striking at my heart, as if trying to dig out all the painful memories that I tried so hard to bury it in the deepest abyss of my heart. The rain remind me of that very days,the very painful and oppresing 72 hours. The tears that I swallowed and accumulated during those days, keep oozing out of my eyes sockets. The pain that I choose to endure silently and tried so hard to ignored all the time, are magnified and tearing my soul apart.
God,could u just show me some mercy? Can everything go back to the way it was? I cant stand it anymore. I dont want to see those people that I know and care for lying in the coffin, with their eyes closing,and the tears of everyone that I love and care is breaking my heart into pieces. I hate this bleak and cold weather,which wash away all the passion and hopes in my heart.
The wound never fully recover, I never had chance and enough time to heal it completely, as destiny keep making fun of me, and God of Death keep taking away the person i know,trying to mess up my life.
The sweeter the memories the more they hurt.
The more thick and deep cuts it leaves in my hands.

THE RAIN

Like usual,riding on my ebike, i went to the school. It was spitting, and i thought i could make it to school before the rain poured down. But I was wrong, once I was out of the hostel compound, the rain suddenly poured down and keep splashing on my skin, and the worst,my eyes. I could hardly open my eyes, the rain was hitting at a fast speed onto my poor eyes without any merciness.
I had no other choice,but to get shelter at the university guard house. I didnt dare to enter the guard house, as I know how dangerous and risky it could be.
I squated outside the guard house, trying my best to use my hand to cover my body ,and hide my head in between my knees. It was freezing cold. The rain keep splashing on me, i could heard the rough wind and cars passed by. Part of me hope that someone could stop and give me a hand. But no one did. I was so afraid, and lonely. I was helpless, and destitute of hopes. After 30 minutes, one of the guard who saw me ask me to take shelter in the guard house. I was out of choice.I'm on the verge of breaking down.I would hold on to any straw of hope,in this kind of circumstances.
 But just 5 seconds later, i soon regret that i took his offer. There are 6 guards in the small guard house. And I am the only girl inside. Fear loom large in my mind. Sitting there alone to wait the rain to stop, I cant help but feeling depressed and rejected.I had lost the one that would care and love me unconditionally,the one that will put my safety and feeling before himself. My parents were getting older and weaker, and one day they will leave me like he did. And so did everyone that love and care for me. I feel alienated and desperate. Tears stinging the corner of my eyes. I tried my best to hold back the tears. It took me a long while to recover , thanks to the company of a kind friend.
However,just at this very night, I got the news, that my uncle had passed away. Like my life was not miserable enough, the destiny , again, showed me the cruelty of reality, and crushed down the weak barrier that I took so much effort to built to protect my own fragile soul and broken heart. What had I did, to deserve such a harse and cruel fate? to endure such a inhuman hardship?to experience such a heartbreaking feeling????

4TH WEEK

The following days after the funeral, I slept in the living room. Part of me still believe that u are alive, and u'll sneak in through the front door in the late of night and laugh,telling me that all of this is but just a prank, an April's Fool prank. But it's not. It's not April, and u're not the kind of person that have such a sick sense of humour,and U'll never show up again. The pain is too real,and tears keep welling up my eyes. It's November, a month before Christmas, two month before the CNY,and the most important, it's a week before our birthday.U never left me when I need u,u never break your promise,but this is the first time u can't keep your promise,the frst time u didnt pick up the phone when i call u, and the first time u left me without saying goodbye,forever.I really miss u, I NEED U TO BE A PART OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I LOVE U.I never tell u this before, but i really meant it. I never want you to go away.I

Day 15th

It's the 15th day since u have left. As time passed, I become more and more convinced that u are really gone. It hurt to learn that I could never see u again. I need u more than i thought i did. I have been stop cring for 2 days, I thought everything would be fine soon. But it's not. I was just pretending that nothing happen. It's hard, to pretend that everything is normal, to pretend that u are still alive. My tears streaking down my face profusely, my heart is aching, i reach the phone, tried to call u, but then i realise it is impossible to reach u. Not anymore. What will u do if u are me? Will u cry and grieving like I do?  U are always sronger than me, u must can handle it. It's has been a long time I keep thinking that wouldnt it be good if I'm the one lying in the coffin? Then our parents won't be so sad and hurt, everyone will not in such a great pain. I can't handle this. This feeling is too strong,and too hard to fight back. It's killing me. Where are u now? I hope u can still stay with me, no matter in what form. I wish i could see u again. There are a lot of things I haven't told u, a lot of question I haven't ask u, a lot of things i haven't done for u. I miss u. Everyone keep telling me to be strong. But how could I be strong without u? I love u.And i never want u to go away. Not without saying goodbye.

Sweet night

Falling asleep when I was doing my T&E reports in the middle of the night.When I woke up this morning, my whole body is sore and my shoulder and neck are in great pain.OMG.....
Yesterday was still a busy day. I spent the whole day to do the revision, with the intention to finish all of it before the evening( and again I failed to do it^^,which cause me has to burn the midnight oil).
Even it's Saturday, there're still many customers in the restaurant. It was so crouded!! But I can still handle it( I do think so...).Sasa made me a lemon milk shape and also a coffee..Hmm~~tasty and sweet...She's really nice to me..I feel very lucky to work with her^^
After work, I didnt come back home as usual. Yumi invited me to go over her place, to taste Xin Ling's homemade soup.And we watch the horror movie together^^ Pcing and Xin Ling acted really cute..when they saw the horrible part in the movie...Instead of screaming,they laughed at the terrifying scene ( Girls nowadays have different kind of humour sense)Well, thanks to them, I have a really wonderful and sweet night.Thanks yar,girls^^

Week 5th

Time flies. Just in a blink of eyes,5 weeks of semester 2 has passed. Life is hectic and busy. I am dead beat everyday when i reached home. Right now, study is still my priority.However,i'm taking a part time job at a family restaurant nearby. Attending class throughout the day, working at night, i barely have much time for my own. It's exhausting and stressful,but i didnt regret my decision. This is a great challenge for me. Am i happy? Yupe,i still can smile and laugh sincerely and happily everyday. I try my best to appreciate every wonderful things around me, no matter how merest and unimportant it is.I am learning to smile,under any circumstances. No matter how sad or frustrated am I, I still try my best to hold my smile.And I have a lots of new friends and good friends that can make me feel good and blissful. I am blessed.Really. My new friends treat me nice and friendly, help me whenever i need a hand, smile heartfully whenever they saw me.They are my pillar of strength and source of happiness. I'm so lucky to have them as my friends.

Intro

I'm currently studying in Utar,still taking foundation course in science stream.What's my degree course? Well,life's full of uncertainty. I still dont have any specific idea about it yet, but i'll cross the bridge only when I comes to it.
I'm just a very ordinary girl,with nothing special to be brag about.Just like other university student, my daily routine is the same: study,class, hang-outs with friends ,sports and etc.So,what's the reason for me to set this blog up? I'm going to jot down every special,memorable and precious moments of my university life at here, to remind me of the blissful and sweet life i had had.For me, this blog is a diary full of happiness and smile and also happy tears.
My university life had already started for 4months already.However, as the saying goes,' it's never to late to start'. Yupe,it's never to late to start to do something you have never done. So,i'll end the intro chapter now,as i can't wait to start the first chapter of my diary^^